i’ve singlehandedly convinced myself i’ll never fit into anyone’s “picture” and this is the most negative and detrimental thing I do to myself. I am always boxing myself out and thinking of reasons why I wouldn’t fit into some guys life or why I haven’t been a fit for guys in the past. it is cruel and it hurts me to think about myself this way. I want to stop feeling like this

is it so much to ask for a photographer boyfriend who will take cute artsy pics of me?

I swear my experiences with guys just keep getting more and more fucked up!!! Cue being out of state for a company-wide training last week and meeting a guy from my home state and finding out he has a gf, and then he makes a move on me on the end of the last night after drinking & shutting down the bars.

Ur selfish gal kept making out w him but then called him out because he had told me that day he had a girlfriend.. of 3 years.. who he lives with! Why do I keep finding all these disappointing scumbag dudes? Halp…

healingsuggestions:

you are growing from this
you are growing from this
you are growing from this

this song makes me bawl like a baby.

i can’t tell you how important Big Thief is to me and how much their music moves me. i had heard a few songs prior to this year, but i saw them at a music festival in April and was instantly drawn to their performance. it was so small, simple, intimate and the lyrics and emotion that came through had me hooked. i listened more to their full discography after this and these songs have meant so much these past few months and in dealing with the aftermath in regards to this guy who has really disappointed me. at the music festival was when things were just starting out between him and i, and hearing Big Thief perform up there had me thinking of him and wanting him to be there beside me, feeling what i was feeling and being drawn to the music too. over the time period that we spent together and when i had instances of frustration with him, i would turn to Big Thief as a way to sit in my feelings and really absorb how the situation was making me feel. and now that i’m still hurting and he’s out of the picture, i still find myself listening and the tears just start welling. i can’t say there’s any recent, active band that has made music that has been so compelling and personal to me.

“Orange”, especially. it was the first song in their set when I saw them play, and i was mesmerized instantly. it is powerful and beautiful and heartbreaking. it brings me comfort and an escape when I’ve kept things bottled up and i need to the tears flow. give it a listen, you won’t be disappointed.